Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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