Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
