Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I have demons in me.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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