I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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