that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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