She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
