She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Randomize
