FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
whose parrot is this?
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
