How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize