There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
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