What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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