I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
