Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
