I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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