Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
