Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
