Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
