shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize