Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
