i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
