So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
