she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Randomize
