what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize