I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
i love accidental penises.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
