Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
