just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
