did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
