is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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