also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
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