no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
