just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Oh god it's open bar.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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