We're facebook friends in real life
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Randomize
