i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
