i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
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