yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
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