): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
