So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
