ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
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