exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
