"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Randomize
