i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
