I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
