Me too!
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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