Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
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