Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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