i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
