My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
