I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
