We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
