Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
