And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
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