you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Randomize
