He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
