Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
