the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
