Kiss
Puke
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize
