I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
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Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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