Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
