just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I will pee on everything he values.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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