if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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