I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
