I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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