so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I understand Curling. That high.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
