I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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